Weiss Fushigi um bloodbath?
by FlameKitten
Summary: Mix the Weiss Kreuz boys with Fushigi Yuugi's Suzaku Seven and what do you get? One bizarre turn out. Throw in Taketori, and everything goes wrong. Pure humor.


AN: just for the record, Tifa is me. I know it's a name from Final Fantasy 7, but it's also short for my real name, and I didn't know what else I should go by. –Disclaimer– No, I don't any of the Weiss boys or Fushigi guys. Such a shame, isn't it? Don't we all want to own them? The beginning's a little retarded...sorry, it's just kinda hard to start these things. But I've always wanted to do one of these... for some reason o.O;  
  
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Tifa: Omiiiii!!! Stop hiding your pants under your jacket!  
  
Yoji: o.o  
  
Omi: (muttering about having to wear long pants in public)  
  
Tifa: Aya, put your stupid tie on straight and stop your moaning.  
  
Aya: (grumbling) I don't wear ties.  
  
Tifa: You do now. Ken...fix your hair?  
  
Ken: (yawns) I just woke up, what do you expect?  
  
Tifa: (sweatdrop)  
  
Yoji: Oh, so you let Ken off easy, do you?  
  
Tifa: Of course.  
  
Aya: (sweatdrop)  
  
Tifa: Yoji...damnit, Yoji, get off Manx!  
  
Yoji: Oh, jealous, are we? (smirks)  
  
Tifa: What? No way! (mutters incoherently about Yoji being a stupid player) Tasuki, fry him for me, will you?  
  
Tasuki: Really? Woohoo! Rekka Shinen!! (flames Yoji)  
  
Yoji: (falls over, crisped) x.x  
  
Tasuki: Whoops, a little too burnt. Not good for eating now.  
  
Omi: O.O  
  
Tifa: Oh well, he bothered me anyway. Tamahome, can you dispose of him?  
  
Tama: Of Tasuki? My pleasure!! (runs towards Tasuki, ready to fight)  
  
Tifa: Argh...Ken?  
  
Ken: Woo! I get to do something! (jumps between Tamahome and Tasuki, and claws at Tamahome's face)  
  
Tama: (pouting, drops to the ground) Owww...what was that for? My beautiful face!! Miaka will never look at me again!! (sobs)  
  
Tifa: (smacks her forehead and then glares at Tamahome) I meant get rid of Yoji, you fool. (pats Ken on the head)  
  
Tama: Oh...fine T.T (walks over to Yoji, and drags him away slowly, holding his free hand over the claw marks on his face)  
  
Tifa: o.o ...mkay...anyway, where were we?  
  
Aya: Does this fanfic really have a point?  
  
Chichiri: (offstage) Yeah, what are you trying to do, no da?  
  
Tifa: Gah! Where'd you come from?! (hurls a tv at the mysterious Chichiri and knocks him out) whoops...  
  
Chichiri: no...da... xx  
  
Tasuki: I thought only Nuriko could throw things that weighed that much... (suddenly scared)  
  
Omi: Err....yes... (getting back on topic so as not to get hit by a tv himself) So...the point?  
  
Tifa: Umm...I'm not sure. I never thought of that. I just figured it'd be fun to get you guys to wear things you don't like to wear. Or something (dodges glares)  
  
Omi: You didn't make Ken wear anything different...or Yoji even.  
  
Tifa: Of course not Ken (grins). And Yoji was just a stubborn fool. Wasn't much I –could– do with him.  
  
Aya: (glares more) So there's no point?  
  
Tifa: Not really (nervous laughter)  
  
Aya: (rips off tie and throws it on the floor) Argh! (walks out the door)  
  
Tifa: Aww, my poor Ran. Did I upset you?  
  
Aya: Grrr...  
  
Tifa: O.O  
  
Tasuki: ...want me to flame him too?  
  
Tifa: Err...no. I have a present if you come back, Ran-sama!  
  
Aya: What now?  
  
Tifa: (holds out Reiji Taketori) Come, boy...come 'ere!  
  
Aya: (flashes his sword and runs back in quickly)

Tifa: Works like a charm.  
  
Taketori: Ahh! Lemme go!  
  
Aya: Now you die!  
  
Taketori: AHHH!! No, please!!  
  
Aya: (beheads Taketori...everyone "ughs" in disgust) Finally. Victory is mine.

Tifa: EEK! (drops the headless body of Taketori)  
  
Ken: O.O Thirst for a vengeance, huh?  
  
Aya: (turns to Ken, taken over by some bloodthirsty vengeance spirit...thing) Now you die!  
  
Ken: AHH!!! Tifa, help me!!  
  
Tifa: Damnit, Aya, snap out of it!! Omi, get over here!  
  
Omi: What? (Aya charges at him, since he's in the way) Ack! (throws his laptop at Aya)  
  
Aya: x.x Now...you...die...(falls over)  
  
Tifa: Bad Aya! Err...Tama-kins!!  
  
Tama: (comes back in) What now?  
  
Tifa: (points to Aya) Tie him up somewhere we can see him. If he gets loose, I'll make sure you're the first one he kills.  
  
Tama: (pouts again) Why don't you ever pick on Tasuki?? (goes to tie up Aya)  
  
Tasuki: 'Cause she –loves– me...Bwuahaha!  
  
Tifa: That's right (sweatdrop)  
  
Ken: What about me? (looks sad)  
  
Tifa: You too, Ken-ken, of course. Even more so (sweatdrop)  
  
Tasuki: WHAAAATTT??! Come here flower-boy. Time to fry.  
  
Ken: Aack!! Tifa, help me!  
  
Tifa: (cough) Ken, you're an assassin. Fend for yourself.  
  
Ken: What? Oh yeah! (pulls out his bugnuks)  
  
Omi: Now this is good entertainment. Kick that fire-haired freak back where he came from!  
  
Tifa: OMI!!  
  
Nuriko: (random appearance) Yes it is pulls out some popcorn Burn his soccer butt to ashes, Tasuki!  
  
Tifa: NURIKO!! (wondering where Nuriko came from)  
  
Omi and Nuriko: What?!  
  
Tifa: (sweatdrop) So unlike you two. (shaking her head, stands between Tasuki and Ken) Stop your bickering! I don't want either of you to get hurt, let alone hurt each other!  
  
Aya: (waking up, still possessed) Now you die!!! (slices at Tamahome, who's still tying Aya to a pillar)  
  
Tama: ow x.x (falls over)  
  
Miaka: (offstage, shrieking) NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs in to Tamahome, sobbing)  
  
Tifa, Omi, and Nuriko: (quickly turning their attention to Aya) That can't be good o.o  
  
Tasuki and Ken: Uh-oh!! (clinging to each other, cowering)  
  
Tifa: (cough) Men...(shakes her head)  
  
Aya: NOW YOU DIEEEEE!!! (cuts through the ropes)  
  
Suboshi: (entering) Is that all he can say?  
  
Nuriko: Apparently... ¬¬ ...Err...You might want to leave before he kills you too.  
  
Suboshi: O.O (leaves quickly and silently)  
  
Tifa: (ignoring the random entrance of one of the Seiryuu Seven) ¬¬; Argh, now there's no one to take Tamahome away. Well there's...Chichiri! Take him, quick, before Aya kills you too.  
  
Chichiri: (runs on stage, somehow magically revived even though he was hit by a tv, rubbing his head) Thank god for Mitsukake. I'm going to get murdered, no da! (grabs Tamahome and Miaka, then teleports out before Aya can kill them)  
  
Ken: (realizes he's clinging to Tasuki, and lets go quickly) Ahem... (regaining composure) Why is this story mostly about Aya?  
  
Tifa: It wasn't supposed to be. Blame Taketori!  
  
Aya: (hearing the name) Taketori! Taketori!! TAKETORI!!!!!  
  
Tasuki: (whispering across the room to Aya) He's already dead, man.  
  
Aya: Dead?...-you're- dead...NOW YOU DIE!!  
  
Tasuki: (shrieks and runs away, right into the wall) doh! x.x  
  
Tifa: This is going all wrong. Now we don't even have fire on our side.  
  
Omi: Sure we do! (picks up Tasuki's fan) What was it he said? Oh yeah...Rekka Shinen! (flames start coming out)  
  
Nuriko: Woo! Go Omi, it's your birthday! (the fan backfires) Err... (backs away)  
  
Omi: (screams, high pitched like a schoolgirl, as the flames surround him and he gets burnt to a crisp...like Yoji)  
  
Tifa: o.O And then there were three.  
  
Ken: Crap...  
  
Nuriko: And these guys call themselves assassins?  
  
Ken: Shut up, you cross-dressing freak. We don't kill our own.  
  
Nuriko: (raises an eyebrow, not insulted by the comment at all) Well apparently you do. (points to Aya, who's now coming towards them)  
  
Tifa: Boys, boys!! Stop it!  
  
Ken: Argh. So what are we going to do now? I don't intend to get killed by my own teammate.  
  
Nuriko: Run?  
  
Ken: ...Run? (considering it)  
  
Aya: NOW YOU DIE!!!! (charging at them)  
  
Tifa: O.O! RUN!! (everyone bolts out the door, leaving Aya to terrorize...the building)  
  
Aya: Dieeeee!!! (slashes at the air)  
  
Tifa: Crap, we left Tasuki in there.  
  
Nuriko: Oh, you're right. Aya's going to eat him alive.  
  
Ken: Eat him?! We're not cannibals, you moron!  
  
Nuriko: Really? I couldn't tell ¬¬  
  
Ken: (ignore) Omi's still in there too.  
  
Nuriko: Yeah, but we don't care about him.  
  
Ken: Grr...!!  
  
Tifa: (shrugs)...well we don't...not really (sweatdrop)  
  
Ken: ... ¬¬; (mutters incoherently) How do I get myself mixed up with these freaks?  
  
Nuriko: You're the florist, assassin-boy. You tell –us– how we got mixed up with –you–  
  
Ken: (twitch)  
  
Tifa: Oooh, watch it, Nuri...you've made him mad. He's gonna kill –you– now. We don't want TWO vengeance assassins (sweatdrop)  
  
Nuriko: Too late...aaaieeee (running in circles, trying to get away from Ken, who's chasing him down)  
  
Tifa: Just don't throw a building at him and we'll be fine o.O  
  
Nuriko: I think I should sick Aya on him. (still running, but manages to trip Ken) Ooh...a Fallen...Angel? No, a fallen assassin...mwuaha.  
  
Ken: (drags Nuriko down with him)  
  
Nuriko: Help!!! O.O!!  
  
Aya: (voice is heard from inside) NOW YOU DIE!!  
  
Tifa: Oh lord...how –do– I manage to get myself mixed up with these people? (grabs both Tasuki and Nuriko by their legs and drags them back inside). Shut...UP! (swings them in the air and throws them, making contact with Aya)  
  
Aya, Ken, and Nuriko: Now...you...ugh...xx

Tifa: Finally..peace and quiet ¬¬ (brushes hands together). This place is a mess though. Note to self: don't introduce a helpless Taketori to Aya. Pfft. (starts to clean up)


End file.
